I haven't blogged in quite some time. There are many reasons. Mostly just excuses and a lot of guilt. You know, when you don't get something done and then time passes and then you feel really guilty because it has been so long that you just keep putting it off. That is a lot of it. But the other day, I realized it was more. I haven't wanted to blog because I know what I must blog about to finally get through this. But it is hard.
I lost my dear sister Suzie. We have known it was coming for a while. But the effects of diabetes and battling this disease that has afflicted her for so long became more than what her will to live could overcome. A while ago, I remember her asking me if she had a right to ask for a miracle again. She has had plenty of those. I didn't have an answer for her. Do any of us have a right to plead for miracles, especially when we have already had many? She knew there were others who were probably in greater need. Over the last year, as her quality of life went down hill, I admit that I got to the point where I felt ready for her release. She wasn't totally my sister anymore. Then I felt like maybe there was more for us to learn as we watched her go through infections, amputation, strokes, blood clots, dialysis, and congestive heart failure. I was with her and other family members as she passed from this life to the next. There is such peace in the Plan of Salvation. If you don't know what that means, please find someone who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints and ask them to explain it. Because of this Plan of Happiness, we were able to laugh and cry together as a family. I have had distinct impressions that she is busy talking and counseling with others who struggle and helping them to understand this great plan themselves. She is busy. She is free from pain. The limitations of her physical body are now gone. We miss her. I miss her. I still cry for her. That is why I could not blog for so long. As I watched different family members say goodbye, I put myself in their place. My heart aches for her children, her husband, her sisters, her father. But I know my mom was there and helps her. They are together. I will see them again. We will all be together again. Family get togethers will be difficult for a while. But I remember being told when my mother passed, you just keep going. It took a long time before I accepted that, but I now know it is truth. You just keep going and growing.
I know this is rambling, but is more for me than for anyone else. I don't know how to close, so I will just say: I love you Suzie.
5 years ago
7 comments:
Missed you. My heart goes out to you losing your sister. Sisters are a special; someone who takes hold of a piece of your heart whether they are here with you or not. That part is never relinquished.
Thanks for sharing that post Peggy. I understand your feelings as far as not blogging because of being down or depressed. I have a hard time blogging when I am down and want to keep my blog and journals to being positive and writing about things I have learned and writing about over coming. So I empathize with not writing until you are ready to face it. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose my sister. I am grateful for your testimony of the Plan of Salvation as it has strengthened my own. You are an inspiration to me. My love and prayers are with you.
Thank you for your tribute to Suzie. We all love her and will miss her. I love the way you put the plan of salvation in,in such a way that all can understand. Being a member of the church really does make a difference. I love you!
I am so sorry to hear this news. I cannot imagine losing one of my sisters. They are my best friends. Isn't it a blessing however to know what we know about life after death and to know that she is free from pain. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
PS... Peggy, I would love to look at Norma's blog, but I am not a friend. Maybe she would consider adding me? randklund@gmail.com
Thanks for being a go between
I am sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. I know how hard it is to say goodbye to someone so dear. I pray that the Lord will be with you and comfort you and your family.
I am just dropping by to wish you a Merry Christmas. When you are up to blogging again stop by my blog. I would love to keep in touch and hear from you.
I've posted Christmas greetings that I would like to share with you...however drop by anytime...if you don't make it for the holidays come when you can.
My thoughts and prayers will be with you. Best wishes, Lura
thanks for your thoughts aunt peggy. i miss her too, i wish i didn't have to live without her, but i can do it and i know she is rooting for me and you:)
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