I have been struck lately by the numerous little miracles that go on all around us. I know that there is plenty of negative out there if I choose to focus on it, but right now I guess my mind and heart are somewhere else. I marvel that God truly does have a plan for all of us and that most often I do not understand why things happen the way they do and what the purpose is. Maybe I am looking for much too small of a purpose, when the big purpose is "And all these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good"!!
Recently a dear friend has been able to get pregnant after years of fasting, prayer, blessings and many, many tears. As she has begun to show, people now realize that she is expecting. She is so cute. As I listened to her and another dear sister who had also endured a similar story, I was struck when she said how much joy she finds in each little thing. She has endured the long, sleepless nights and fussy periods, because well it took so long to get there. I think of Jackie having such joy in a negative test result. There are still no answers, but for now it is not bad news. I think of others who were complaining about time lost to diagnosis or fretting about one thing or another and I thought about Leman and Lemuel. Am I like them sometimes? Do I want all my answers now? Do I wish that I had never gone to the Dr. about my knee? Maybe it is because I was helping another sister in YW as she prepared for an activity. I shared that she might want the girls to learn the "as if" principle. It is found most clearly in Jarom 1:11. Basically the scripture talks about how the Nephites were taught to live their lives "AS IF" Christ had already come. It is a marvelous principle when we apply it to our lives. If there is something that we know we want or ought to do, you live "as if" you are already there. So, young men can learn to become and be prepared to be better missionaries, by living "as if" they are already a missionary. Well, this dear sister was thrilled by this principle and how she could apply it. Then as we talked, she turned it back on me. She told me that maybe I needed to quit debating whether I should have surgery on my knee and just live "as if" I had already decided. I have had such peace since then. I guess it is my own little miracle. Who knows why I have to go through this NOW. Who knows why I have endured what I have, but it is okay. It is pretty doubtful that they will open up my knee and say, "No, this isn't that bad. She doesn't need to have this done." And wake me up. Isn't that silly that that is my fear? Silly me!!